If you’re a high-achieving woman who’s constantly battling hidden anxiety, you’re not alone. Many driven women feel the pressure to excel and manage responsibilities while keeping their anxiety under wraps. This invisible struggle can be incredibly draining, but there's hope. By embracing a few key principles, you can effectively manage this anxiety and regain your energy.

Understanding Hidden Anxiety

Hidden anxiety often masquerades as perfectionism, overworking, and constant worry about meeting high standards. It’s like carrying an invisible weight that drains your energy and leaves you feeling exhausted. Recognizing this hidden anxiety is the first step toward managing it.

The Principles for Managing Hidden Anxiety

1. Acceptance
• What it means: Acceptance involves acknowledging your anxiety without letting it control you. It's about recognizing that anxiety is a part of your experience, not something you need to fight or eliminate.
• How it helps: By accepting your anxious thoughts and feelings, you reduce their power over you. Instead of battling anxiety, you learn to coexist with it, making it less overwhelming.
2. Seeing Thoughts as Just Thoughts
• What it means: This principle involves understanding that thoughts are not facts. They are transient mental events that do not define your reality.
• How it helps: When you learn to observe your anxious thoughts without getting entangled in them, you gain distance and perspective. This helps reduce the impact of anxiety on your daily life.
3. Being Present
• What it means: Being present is about focusing on the here and now, rather than getting caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past.
• How it helps: Practicing mindfulness can ground you in the present, reducing anxiety about the future or regrets about the past. It brings a sense of calm and focus.
4. Values-Driven Action
• What it means: Values-driven action involves taking steps that align with your core values, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• How it helps: By committing to actions that reflect your values, you find purpose and direction, which can counterbalance anxiety and provide motivation.

Practical Steps for Managing Hidden Anxiety

Here are some actionable strategies based on these principles to help you manage hidden anxiety:

1. Recognize and Name Your Anxiety

Start by recognizing and naming your anxiety. Acknowledge when it shows up and how it affects your thoughts and actions. Simply saying, “I’m feeling anxious right now,” can be a powerful first step in reducing its impact.

Being aware of your anxiety allows you to address it more effectively. It's like turning on a light in a dark room; the monsters in the corner aren’t so scary when you can see them clearly.

2. Practice Acceptance

Instead of battling your anxiety, try to accept it. This doesn’t mean you like it or want it, but you acknowledge its presence. Acceptance can reduce the struggle and help you focus on what you can control.

Acceptance is about making room for anxiety rather than pushing it away. Imagine your mind is a house, and anxiety is an uninvited guest. Instead of locking the door or fighting it, let it sit in the corner while you go about your day. Over time, its presence will become less disruptive.

3. See Your Thoughts as Just Thoughts

When anxious thoughts arise, practice seeing them as just thoughts. This helps you gain distance and perspective. For instance:

• Label your thoughts: Say to yourself, “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”
• Visualize your thoughts: Imagine placing your thoughts on leaves floating down a stream or clouds passing in the sky. This creates distance and helps you see them as transient.

By acknowledging that thoughts are just thoughts, you reduce their ability to dictate your emotions and actions. It’s a reminder that not everything you think is true or important.

4. Engage in Mindfulness Practices

Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine:

• Mindful breathing: Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. Notice the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body.
• Body scan: Spend a few moments scanning your body from head to toe, noticing any areas of tension and allowing them to relax.
• Mindful walking: Pay attention to the movement of your body and the sensations in your feet as you walk. This can be a grounding exercise, especially if you feel overwhelmed.

Mindfulness helps you stay present and reduces the tendency to get lost in anxious thoughts. It’s about finding a moment of peace in the chaos of your mind.

5. Identify and Commit to Your Values

Reflect on your core values and how they guide your actions. What matters most to you? Use these values to set meaningful goals and take actions that align with them. This provides a sense of purpose and direction.

By focusing on values-driven action, you ensure that your efforts are aligned with what truly matters to you, rather than being driven solely by anxiety or external pressures. This alignment can bring a deeper sense of satisfaction and reduce feelings of emptiness or burnout.

A Real-Life Success Story: Ashley’s Journey

Let’s look at Ashley’s story to see how these strategies can make a difference.

Ashley is a high-performing project manager at a tech company. Despite her success, she struggled with hidden anxiety, constantly worrying about meeting deadlines and maintaining perfection. This anxiety left her exhausted and burned out.

Ashley decided to try therapy and was introduced to these principles. Here’s how she managed her hidden anxiety:

1. Recognizing and Naming Anxiety: Ashley began to acknowledge her anxiety by naming it. She would say, “I’m feeling anxious about this project,” which helped her to externalize the anxiety rather than internalize it.
2. Practicing Acceptance: Ashley learned to accept her anxiety without judgment. She stopped fighting it and started acknowledging it as a part of her experience. This acceptance reduced her internal struggle.
3. Seeing Thoughts as Just Thoughts: Ashley practiced seeing her thoughts as just thoughts, not facts. When she thought, “I’m going to fail,” she would reframe it as, “I’m having the thought that I’m going to fail.” This helped her see her thoughts more objectively.
4. Engaging in Mindfulness: Ashley incorporated mindfulness practices into her daily routine. She started each day with mindful breathing exercises and took mindful breaks during work to stay grounded and focused.
5. Identifying and Committing to Values: Ashley reflected on her values and realized that collaboration and innovation were important to her. She set goals that aligned with these values and committed to actions that reflected them. This gave her work more meaning and reduced her anxiety.

Over time, Ashley noticed a significant change. Her anxiety became more manageable, and she felt more energized and focused. She was able to enjoy her work again and maintain a healthier work-life balance.